Epictetus · The Handbook
Chapter 16
When you see someone weeping in grief because his child has gone abroad or he has lost his property, be careful that the impression does not sweep you away into thinking that he is in the grip of external evils. Have this ready at once: “What crushes this man is not what happened – it does not crush someone else – but his judgment about it.” Do not hesitate, though, to sympathize with him in words, and even, if it comes to that, to groan along with him. But be careful not to groan inside.
ὅταν κλαίοντα ἴδῃς τινὰ ἐν πένθει ἢ ἀποδημοῦντος τέκνου ἢ ἀπολωλεκότα τὰ ἑαυτοῦ, πρόσεχε μή σε ἡ φαντασία συναρπάσῃ ὡς ἐν κακοῖς ὄντος αὐτοῦ τοῖς ἐκτός, ἀλλ’ εὐθὺς ἔστω πρόχειρον ὅτι «τοῦτον θλίβει οὐ τὸ συμβεβηκός (ἄλλον γὰρ οὐ θλίβει), ἀλλὰ τὸ δόγμα τὸ περὶ τούτου.» μέχρι μέντοι λόγου μὴ ὄκνει συμπεριφέρεσθαι αὐτῷ, κἂν οὕτω τύχῃ, καὶ συνεπιστενάξαι· πρόσεχε μέντοι μὴ καὶ ἔσωθεν στενάξῃς.