Judgment

ταράσσει τοὺς ἀνθρώπους οὐ τὰ πράγματα, ἀλλὰ τὰ περὶ τῶν πραγμάτων δόγματα· οἷον ὁ θάνατος οὐδὲν δεινόν (ἐπεὶ καὶ Σωκράτει ἂν ἐφαίνετο), ἀλλὰ τὸ δόγμα τὸ περὶ τοῦ θανάτου, διότι δεινόν, ἐκεῖνο τὸ δεινόν ἐστιν. ὅταν οὖν ἐμποδιζώμεθα ἢ ταρασσώμεθα ἢ λυπώμεθα, μηδέποτε ἄλλον αἰτιώμεθα, ἀλλ’ ἑαυτούς, τοῦτ’ ἔστι τὰ ἑαυτῶν δόγματα. ἀπαιδεύτου ἔργον τὸ ἄλλοις ἐγκαλεῖν, ἐφ’ οἷς αὐτὸς πράσσει κακῶς· ἠργμένου παιδεύεσθαι τὸ ἑαυτῷ· πεπαιδευμένου τὸ μήτε ἄλλῳ μήτε ἑαυτῷ.

It is not things that disturb people, but their judgments about things. Death, for instance, is nothing terrible – otherwise it would have seemed so to Socrates too. No, the judgment about death, that it is terrible: that is the terrible thing. So whenever we are blocked or disturbed or grieved, let us never blame anyone else, but ourselves – that is, our own judgments. It is the work of someone with no education to accuse others when he is doing badly; of someone whose education has begun, to accuse himself; of someone fully educated, to accuse neither another nor himself.

ὅταν κλαίοντα ἴδῃς τινὰ ἐν πένθει ἢ ἀποδημοῦντος τέκνου ἢ ἀπολωλεκότα τὰ ἑαυτοῦ, πρόσεχε μή σε ἡ φαντασία συναρπάσῃ ὡς ἐν κακοῖς ὄντος αὐτοῦ τοῖς ἐκτός, ἀλλ’ εὐθὺς ἔστω πρόχειρον ὅτι «τοῦτον θλίβει οὐ τὸ συμβεβηκός (ἄλλον γὰρ οὐ θλίβει), ἀλλὰ τὸ δόγμα τὸ περὶ τούτου.» μέχρι μέντοι λόγου μὴ ὄκνει συμπεριφέρεσθαι αὐτῷ, κἂν οὕτω τύχῃ, καὶ συνεπιστενάξαι· πρόσεχε μέντοι μὴ καὶ ἔσωθεν στενάξῃς.

When you see someone weeping in grief because his child has gone abroad or he has lost his property, be careful that the impression does not sweep you away into thinking that he is in the grip of external evils. Have this ready at once: “What crushes this man is not what happened – it does not crush someone else – but his judgment about it.” Do not hesitate, though, to sympathize with him in words, and even, if it comes to that, to groan along with him. But be careful not to groan inside.

μέμνησο, ὅτι οὐχ ὁ λοιδορῶν ἢ ὁ τύπτων ὑβρίζει, ἀλλὰ τὸ δόγμα τὸ περὶ τούτων ὡς ὑβριζόντων. ὅταν οὖν ἐρεθίσῃ σέ τις, ἴσθι, ὅτι ἡ σή σε ὑπόληψις ἠρέθικε. τοιγαροῦν ἐν πρώτοις πειρῶ ὑπὸ τῆς φαντασίας μὴ συναρπασθῆναι· ἂν γὰρ ἅπαξ χρόνου καὶ διατριβῆς τύχῃς, ῥᾷον κρατήσεις σεαυτοῦ.

Remember: it is not the one who reviles you or hits you who humiliates you, but your judgment that these people are humiliating you. So when someone provokes you, understand that it is your own assumption that has provoked you. Try, therefore, above all, not to be swept away by the impression. Once you gain time and delay, you will find it easier to master yourself.

λούεταί τις ταχέως· μὴ εἴπῃς ὅτι κακῶς, ἀλλ’ ὅτι ταχέως. πίνει τις πολὺν οἶνον· μὴ εἴπῃς ὅτι κακῶς, ἀλλ’ ὅτι πολύν. πρὶν γὰρ διαγνῶναι τὸ δόγμα, πόθεν οἶσθα, εἰ κακῶς; οὕτως οὐ συμβήσεταί σοι ἄλλων μὲν φαντασίας καταληπτικὰς λαμβάνειν, ἄλλοις δὲ συγκατατίθεσθαι.

Someone bathes quickly: do not say he bathes badly, but quickly. Someone drinks a lot of wine: do not say he drinks badly, but a lot. Until you have grasped his judgment, how do you know it was bad? This way, it will never happen to you that you grasp one set of impressions clearly and yet assent to a different one.