Duty

τὰ καθήκοντα ὡς ἐπίπαν ταῖς σχέσεσι παραμετρεῖται. πατήρ ἐστιν· ὑπαγορεύεται ἐπιμελεῖσθαι, παραχωρεῖν ἁπάντων, ἀνέχεσθαι λοιδοροῦντος, παίοντος. «ἀλλὰ πατὴρ κακός ἐστι.» μή τι οὖν πρὸς ἀγαθὸν πατέρα φύσει ᾠκειώθης; ἀλλὰ πρὸς πατέρα. «ὁ ἀδελφὸς ἀδικεῖ.» τήρει τοιγαροῦν τὴν τάξιν τὴν σεαυτοῦ πρὸς αὐτὸν μηδὲ σκόπει, τί ἐκεῖνος ποιεῖ, ἀλλὰ τί σοὶ ποιήσαντι κατὰ φύσιν ἡ σὴ ἕξει προαίρεσις· σὲ γὰρ ἄλλος οὐ βλάψει, ἂν μὴ σὺ θέλῃς· τότε δὲ ἔσῃ βεβλαμμένος, ὅταν ὑπολάβῃς βλάπτεσθαι. οὕτως οὖν ἀπὸ τοῦ γείτονος, ἀπὸ τοῦ πολίτου, ἀπὸ τοῦ στρατηγοῦ τὸ καθῆκον εὑρήσεις, ἐὰν τὰς σχέσεις ἐθίζῃ θεωρεῖν.

Our duties are generally measured by our relationships. He is a father: that means take care of him, yield to him in everything, put up with him when he berates you, when he hits you. ‘But he’s a bad father.’ Did nature assign you to a good father? No – to a father. ‘My brother is wronging me.’ Then hold your own position toward him. Do not look at what he is doing, but at what you must do to keep your will in harmony with nature. Another person will not harm you unless you consent. You will be harmed at the moment you assume you are harmed. In this way, then – from the neighbor, from the citizen, from the general – you will work out your duty, if you make a habit of studying the relationships.

ὅταν φοιτᾷς πρός τινα τῶν μέγα δυναμένων, πρόβαλε, ὅτι οὐχ εὑρήσεις αὐτὸν ἔνδον, ὅτι ἀποκλεισθήσῃ, ὅτι ἐντιναχθήσονταί σοι αἱ θύραι, ὅτι οὐ φροντιεῖ σου. κἂν σὺν τούτοις ἐλθεῖν καθήκῃ, ἐλθὼν φέρε τὰ γινόμενα καὶ μηδέποτε εἴπῃς αὐτὸς πρὸς ἑαυτὸν ὅτι «οὐκ ἦν τοσούτου·» ἰδιωτικὸν γὰρ καὶ διαβεβλημένον πρὸς τὰ ἐκτός.

When you call on a powerful man, put before your mind that you will not find him at home, that you will be shut out, that the doors will be slammed in your face, that he will pay no attention to you. And if, despite all that, it is your duty to go – go, and bear what happens, and never say to yourself, “It wasn’t worth all that.” That is the layman’s line, the mark of someone worked up over externals.

ὅταν σέ τις κακῶς ποιῇ ἢ κακῶς λέγῃ, μέμνησο, ὅτι καθήκειν αὐτῷ οἰόμενος ποιεῖ ἢ λέγει. οὐχ οἷόν τε οὖν ἀκολουθεῖν αὐτὸν τῷ σοὶ φαινομένῳ, ἀλλὰ τῷ ἑαυτῷ, ὥστε, εἰ κακῶς αὐτῷ φαίνεται, ἐκεῖνος βλάπτεται, ὅστις καὶ ἐξηπάτηται. καὶ γὰρ τὸ ἀληθὲς συμπεπλεγμένον ἄν τις ὑπολάβῃ ψεῦδος, οὐ τὸ συμπεπλεγμένον βέβλαπται, ἀλλ’ ὁ ἐξαπατηθείς. ἀπὸ τούτων οὖν ὁρμώμενος πρᾴως ἕξεις πρὸς τὸν λοιδοροῦντα. ἐπιφθέγγου γὰρ ἐφ’ ἑκάστῳ ὅτι «ἔδοξεν αὐτῷ.»

When someone treats you badly or speaks badly of you, remember: he does it or says it thinking it is his duty. He cannot follow what appears right to you – only what appears right to him. So if it appears wrong to him, he is the one harmed, since he is also the one deceived. If someone takes a true conjunction to be false, the conjunction is not harmed – the one deceived is. Start from this, and you will be gentle with the person who insults you. Say, each time: “It seemed so to him.”