The Handbook of Epictetus
Handbook 30
Translated by Clint Miller
Our duties are generally measured by our relationships. He is a father: that means take care of him, yield to him in everything, put up with him when he berates you, when he hits you. ‘But he’s a bad father.’ Did nature assign you to a good father? No – to a father. ‘My brother is wronging me.’ Then hold your own position toward him. Do not look at what he is doing, but at what you must do to keep your will in harmony with nature. Another person will not harm you unless you consent. You will be harmed at the moment you assume you are harmed. In this way, then – from the neighbor, from the citizen, from the general – you will work out your duty, if you make a habit of studying the relationships.
τὰ καθήκοντα ὡς ἐπίπαν ταῖς σχέσεσι παραμετρεῖται. πατήρ ἐστιν· ὑπαγορεύεται ἐπιμελεῖσθαι, παραχωρεῖν ἁπάντων, ἀνέχεσθαι λοιδοροῦντος, παίοντος. «ἀλλὰ πατὴρ κακός ἐστι.» μή τι οὖν πρὸς ἀγαθὸν πατέρα φύσει ᾠκειώθης; ἀλλὰ πρὸς πατέρα. «ὁ ἀδελφὸς ἀδικεῖ.» τήρει τοιγαροῦν τὴν τάξιν τὴν σεαυτοῦ πρὸς αὐτὸν μηδὲ σκόπει, τί ἐκεῖνος ποιεῖ, ἀλλὰ τί σοὶ ποιήσαντι κατὰ φύσιν ἡ σὴ ἕξει προαίρεσις· σὲ γὰρ ἄλλος οὐ βλάψει, ἂν μὴ σὺ θέλῃς· τότε δὲ ἔσῃ βεβλαμμένος, ὅταν ὑπολάβῃς βλάπτεσθαι. οὕτως οὖν ἀπὸ τοῦ γείτονος, ἀπὸ τοῦ πολίτου, ἀπὸ τοῦ στρατηγοῦ τὸ καθῆκον εὑρήσεις, ἐὰν τὰς σχέσεις ἐθίζῃ θεωρεῖν.