Epictetus · The Handbook
Chapter 25
Was someone honored above you at a dinner party, or in a greeting, or by being called in for advice? If these things are good, you should be glad he got them. If they are bad, don’t be upset that you didn’t. And remember: if you do not do the same things people do to get what is not up to us, you cannot expect an equal share of it.
Προετιμήθη σού τις ἐν ἑστιάσει ἢ ἐν προσαγορεύσει ἢ ἐν τῷ παραληφθῆναι εἰς συμβουλίαν; εἰ μὲν ἀγαθὰ ταῦτά ἐστι, χαίρειν σε δεῖ, ὅτι ἔτυχεν αὐτῶν ἐκεῖνος· εἰ δὲ κακά, μὴ ἄχθου, ὅτι σὺ αὐτῶν οὐκ ἔτυχες· μέμνησο δέ, ὅτι οὐ δύνασαι μὴ ταὐτὰ ποιῶν πρὸς τὸ τυγχάνειν τῶν οὐκ ἐφ’ ἡμῖν τῶν ἴσων ἀξιοῦσθαι.
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How can the man who does not hang around someone’s door have an equal share with the man who does? The one who does not escort him, with the one who does? The one who does not flatter him, with the one who does? You will be unjust and insatiable if you refuse to pay the price these things sell for and want to get them free.
πῶς γὰρ ἴσον ἔχειν δύναται ὁ μὴ φοιτῶν ἐπὶ θύρας τινὸς τῷ φοιτῶντι; ὁ μὴ παραπέμπων τῷ παραπέμποντι; ὁ μὴ ἐπαινῶν τῷ ἐπαινοῦντι, ἄδικος οὖν ἔσῃ καὶ ἄπληστος, εἰ μὴ προϊέμενος ταῦτα, ἀνθ’ ὧν ἐκεῖνα πιπράσκεται, προῖκα αὐτὰ βουλήσῃ λαμβάνειν.
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What do lettuces sell for? An obol, say. So if someone pays his obol and takes the lettuces, and you do not pay and do not take them, don’t imagine you have less than he does. He has his lettuces; you have your obol, which you did not give.
ἀλλὰ πόσου πιπράσκονται θρίδακες; ὀβολοῦ, ἂν οὕτω τύχῃ. ἂν οὖν τις προέμενος τὸν ὀβολὸν λάβῃ θρίδακας, σὺ δὲ μὴ προέμενος μὴ λάβῃς, μὴ οἴου ἔλαττον ἔχειν τοῦ λαβόντος. ὡς γὰρ ἐκεῖνος ἔχει θρίδακας, οὕτω σὺ τὸν ὀβολόν, ὃν οὐκ ἔδωκας.
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It is exactly the same here. You were not invited to someone’s dinner party? Because you did not pay the host the price of the dinner. He sells it for praise; he sells it for attention. Pay the difference, then, if it profits you, and take what it sells for. But if you want to keep your money and take the goods anyway, you are insatiable and a fool.
τὸν αὐτὸν δὴ τρόπον καὶ ἐνταῦθα. οὐ παρεκλήθης ἐφ’ ἑστίασίν τινος; οὐ γὰρ ἔδωκας τῷ καλοῦντι, ὅσου πωλεῖ τὸ δεῖπνον. ἐπαίνου δ’ αὐτὸ πωλεῖ, θεραπείας πωλεῖ. δὸς οὖν τὸ διάφορον, εἰ σοι λυσιτελεῖ, ὅσου πωλεῖται. εἰ δὲ κἀκεῖνα θέλεις μὴ προΐεσθαι καὶ ταῦτα λαμβάνειν, ἄπληστος εἶ καὶ ἀβέλτερος.
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Have you nothing, then, in place of the dinner? You have this: you did not praise a man you did not want to praise, and you did not have to put up with the doormen at his entrance.
οὐδὲν οὖν ἔχεις ἀντὶ τοῦ δείπνου; ἔχεις μὲν οὖν τὸ μὴ ἐπαινέσαι τοῦτον, ὃν οὐκ ἤθελες, τὸ μὴ ἀνασχέσθαι αὐτοῦ τῶν ἐπὶ τῆς εἰσόδου.